Attitude matters!

Our attitude to conflict, like our attitude to fire, is critical. I’m reminded of an old man, highly experienced in managing fire in forests of NSW. When a neighbour popped in to check on him given the amount of smoke in the area, he shuffled to the door and looked out and drawled slowly and deliberately, “It’s near the old quarry. Let it go. It will do a powerful lot of good in there cleaning things out.” He saw the fire at that particular time of the year in that particular location as a beneficial situation. He was a skilled hand - understood the benefit of fire, the terrain it was operating in, and the weather conditions. And he saw the benefits the fire would offer the forest at that time. Others in the neighbourhood were busy packing their bags!

If you consider conflict a scary and destructive force, the strong likelihood is that you will either run from it and avoid it at all costs (packing your bag!), or insist that conflict be stopped immediately – even if that is not necessary and might stop the clean out and opportunity for new growth.  Mediation gives the option of exploring the conflict, allowing it to clear the weeds away and permit new growth to be possible. It allows something that could be scary and destructive to be managed as a useful tool for the benefit of those involved. It permits new growth. So next time you find yourself involved in a conflict or managing those involved in a conflict? Don’t run, and don’t extinguish it immediately. Stop and contemplate… maybe this is an opportunity rather than a threat.