When the Ember ignites.... Managing Challenging Parents in Schools

Bushfires can be deadly, but fire, in the right hands, doesn't always destruction. It can be a cleansing force, it can teach us.  It can allow germination of new growth and life. Life is like that. Manure can be a stinking pile of something nasty.... or in the right hands, a fertile growth medium for an amazing garden. The difference between the two options? Destruction and stink or growth? Our attitude and skills mostly. I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I prepare to speak at the upcoming TVED Masterclass. My topic is one that sits close to the bone for every school leader I've worked with: what do you do when parents become problems?

The conflict I'll be exploring at the masterclass isn't student-on-student. It's parent-on-school — and anecdotally it seems to be escalating. In my paper for the conference, I draw on the work of Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute and Dr Grant Lester to describe the spectrum: from the genuinely concerned parent with a legitimate complaint, through to the high conflict personality who is, frankly, exhausting everyone. The parent who sends forty emails in three weeks. The parent who plans to go to A Current Affair/Today Tonight/ facebook. The parent who arrives with an overflowing folder, speaking in third-person legalistic style, who is initially charming but then turns on you.

These behaviours are costing schools enormously—not just in time and patience, but in the psychological safety of staff. We know from research that teacher-targeted bullying and harassment by parents is a real and growing issue. And increasingly, AI is making things murkier: I've seen school lawyers tearing their hair out over aggressive, legally-fluent sounding (but incorrect!) emails that turned out to be ChatGPT-generated by a parent who was actually perfectly reasonable in person.

I suggest that the first question shouldn't be "How do we protect the school?"—though that still matters. The first question is: What is the truth here, and how do we care for everyone involved?. Invariably, these things ultimately will protect the school.

In my masterclass, I'll be working through the practical realities: the legal frameworks that give you power to act, the de-escalation skills that help you act wisely, and the record-keeping that backs you up when you need it. We'll talk about what your enrolment contract should actually say. We'll cover the different legislative pathways across states and territories for excluding a parent from campus when all else fails. We'll talk about family separations, about who gets what information, and about how to protect staff.
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But more than that, I want attendees to engage in some reflection. A chance to think through these challenges not just as legal problems, but as human ones. Because the goal isn't just to avoid disaster. It's to create a culture where safety and rights aren't competing interests, but complementary forces working toward good of your communities. Conflict is not the end of the story. It can be the beginning of a better one.

Join me for the TVED Masterclass: Student Rights, Safety, and School Risk
Date: 27 August 2026
Format: Online One-Day Masterclass
Register here: TVED Masterclass Link
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